Maybe this hasn’t happened to you yet - getting trapped by a driverless car in the Trader Joe’s parking lot. Perhaps you’re too preoccupied with the kidnapping of a grandmother, immigration atrocities and the next batch of Epstein files to focus on the insanity of a driverless car pulling behind you in a congested parking lot. I understand. But in my town of Los Angeles, there is no dodging the army of driverless cars that have descended on the city.
Sure, if the other option is Uber drivers who molest passengers, I agree a driverless car is the better choice. Better to have a vehicle pulling back and forth three inches at a time trying to navigate an exit from a parking lot so busy it needs an attendant to keep people from coming to blows.
Why am I writing about this? First of all, you are officially alerted to what is coming to a parking lot near you. I was in Miami last week and only a few people had ever heard of Waymo, let alone seen one in action. And secondly, when immobilized by one, rather than giving in to raging impatience and fear that I’d never get out of there, I had a different experience. I was keenly aware that this was one of the “Laughter On Call” moments I’m supposed to be expert at handling with levity. My instinct however, was not humor. I could feel my body tensing up by the utter nonsense of a car with no driver to engage with holding me hostage. Looking at the empty seat, It felt like a prank. Gripping my steering wheel I thought, who do I yell at when there’s no one to blame?
And there it was. The BIG question. I never anticipated having a spiritual experience in the parking lot of Trader Joe’s. Yet, trapped there desperate to fix this “awful” situation, my powerlessness was laid bare. Even with my catastrophizing instincts, part of me knew that I would not be spending the night alone in my car eating chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels. That dark fantasy would have to wait for another time.
The fact was nothing in the moment was life-threatening. Waymo wasn’t going to kill anyone. At least not yet. What could do damage was my impatience and my fear of what could happen. I have a very active imagination for what could happen in any given set of circumstances. For the record, it’s never good news.
Taking contrary action, I took a deep breath and let the driverless car figure out how to exit. Thank you anonymous friend, so desperate to shop you brought a car with no human decision making power into a crowded parking lot to remind me to calm down. As the Waymo passed by me in the rearview mirror, a cartoonlike image of no one at the wheel, I had to laugh.
And I think we all know how I feel about that outcome.
