November is National Caregivers Awareness Month aka National Family Caregivers Awareness Month!

You say potato, I say pahtatoh! 

No matter how you word it, dedicating a month to these angels warms my heart. And in November no less! The month of my father’s birthday. In fact yesterday was the day - he would have been 108. Victor G. Klein. Born on Armistice Day - the family joke was always, glad we won the war because "Defeat" would have been a tough name to go through life. Ba bum bum!

Witnessing the tireless spirit of my father’s caregivers during his battle against cancer was like a window into a whole other species. From the first person who came a few hours a week to give my mother a break to the hospice team who guided us to the end, I had never before met such generous, kind people. Not that I was raised by wolves, but it was New York City in the ‘80’s. Also, this was my first exposure to creating laughter where you least expect it. Not at him, of course, but with him and with each other. Always such a surprise and so welcome. These flashes that we’re still human beings who can laugh together. 

Of course this understanding deepened with my mother’s six year surrender to Alzheimer’s. These caregivers probably taught me the most about the need for comic relief. 

It’s funny, but whenever people hear I’ve been a comedian they usually have the same reaction, “Oh I could never do that, that takes so much courage.” 

And yet witnessing two terminal illnesses with parents and the caregivers who showed up for them daily,  can’t help but think, really? Stand-up is hard? I think maybe caregiving is a little harder. Sure standing up in front of strangers and trying to get them to laugh takes courage, but showing up to work and not knowing what the day will be, what will be demanded of you psychically and physically and to keep showing up for months of this - sometimes years - takes a lot more courage. 

Therefore, the very least we can do is spend a month celebrating people in the thick of it! It must also be why I am on the road a lot this month encouraging people it’s okay to laugh. Hearing many times from people on the front lines, “You know if we don’t laugh, we cry!”

I had a wonderful time bringing laughter and connection with the Arts for All Wisconsin and Spark! people earlier in the week (picture above!). Today I am in Riverside with the IHCC whose whole mission is keeping people home as they age and in so doing, give as much support as possible to caregivers. On Tuesday I taught a workshop for our partners at Hilarity for Charity. It was one of my favorite caregiver sessions “B.H.I.L.A.T.Y.S. - pronounced like pilates - for strengthening your caregiver core!” Eight tools for self-care and finding laughter where we least expect it! Dedicated to those first caregivers I witnessed in action over thirty years ago with my father.