“Wasn’t that just great when Dani was talking about embracing imperfection and then completely lost her script? Wasn’t that just perfect? When our theme is being human?”
My stomach drops and I choke a little on my cheese ball.
We’re at a reception after the 14th TEDx presentation in Cape May, New Jersey. Speakers, producers and audience are mingling out on the lawn of Congress Hall, the “oldest seaside hotel in the U.S.” Everyone is buzzing from all the talks. Each of us more passionate than the other about using what we know to make a difference. No one else cares as much about using laughter to do this than me.
Countless American flags flapping in the breeze as the sun sets.
“Dani!,” the executive producer yells, spotting me across the grass, “There she is!” Ten heads turn to me on cue, smiling, laughing.
“Hi! Right, for sure, totally pre-meditated!" I joke, through a frozen smile.
Tough moment. I had spent months preparing for my TED moment. Daily hours-long sessions memorizing this seventeen minute speech. But you throw in slides, lights, and a live audience, and well, he was right. About three quarters of the way in, my brain had a blip. Just as I was introducing my fourth and final comedians’ tool for creating laughter that makes people feel good.
Embrace Imperfection.
Ironic doesn’t completely capture my response to this, which in truth lasted about a minute. One sentence dropped. One of my favorites!
"Owning where we miss the mark with a sense of humor shows confidence. And gives others permission to tell their truth. And ideas. It also relieves tension."
There are multiple ironies to this brief memory lapse. Not only because I was being highly imperfect/human in real time, but also because the genesis of my whole TED “big idea” is what I learned from my mother’s Alzheimer’s. You know, the disease where you lose your memory.
It turns out the producer wasn’t the only one who appreciated the snafu! So many people shared their stories with me after about family, grateful to recount them honestly and with levity. The woman, God bless her, who couldn’t find her father’s prosthetic leg racing to get him to a doctor's appointment, and her laughter about it, has stayed with me.
In writing this I have yet another epiphany. I don’t need to focus on the 3% of this performance that didn’t feel fantastic. I can choose to focus on the 97% that really did feel great. The sixteen minutes that I was able to bring some truth and light to a situation that so many families are facing now.
I look forward to sharing the video with all of you when it launches!
