May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I’m not exactly sure who makes these designations in our yearly calendars, because I would definitely campaign for Shared Laughter Month, but I’ll take what I can get!
I love that they didn’t stop at just Mental Health Month. Adding “awareness” takes it to a whole other level. It feels more like a call to action. It’s not simply a nod to the importance of mental health, it’s a “pay attention” statement. Let’s not only be academic about our commitment, let’s wake up and really see where people need help. Including ourselves.
In my talks about the value of shared laughter, I ask people to never again respond to “How are you?” with the word, “Fine.” Fine is never funny, I say. And believe.
In terms of mental health awareness, responding with “fine,” isn’t only void of humor. It also stops a conversation, shuts down further discussion and reveals nothing about how we are really doing. It also creates zero connection.
“I’m fine,” feels like the gateway drug to isolation and loneliness. Which for the record has been identified as deadly by the Surgeon General himself. So yes, it’s not funny, but it’s also not healthy. How can we have awareness about each other’s mental health without some window into the truth of how we are doing in any given moment?
Easier said than done of course. It takes courage to respond honestly. What if someone thinks we’re nuts for breaking with convention? Or reacts with a blank stare? Or never talks to us again? Not that I know anything about this.
Also, by not saying “fine,” you are inviting someone else to not say “fine.” Rather than being self-indulgent, you’re actually being of service to someone else. Suddenly you’re engaged in a real conversation where there is connection, where isolation can’t exist! You are taking one small step for mankind. You are contributing to Mental Health Awareness Month!
To clarify, I’m not suggesting we all launch into confessional monologues as a follow up to hello. Don’t get it twisted, as my sons say. I’m talking about simple honesty. For example, lately I’ve been known to answer “How are you?” with “Challenged.” Leaving it up to the other person to pick up the ball. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they respond with “Sorry to hear that, hope you’re getting the support you need.” Or simply, “I understand.” Or “Hashtag Me Too.” Kidding, no one ever says that.
On rare occasions, no matter what I’ve said, the person hears, “Fine,” and launches into their own soliloquy. This stings a little, but also gives me awareness about who they are, which has nothing to do with me. Here again, awareness contributes to mental health.
Hard to believe that a slight and yet profound adjustment to this small exchange we likely have several times a day can do so much for ourselves and so many others.
It’s also a great foundation for making our way toward laughter too. More on that next week!
